Saturday, October 16, 2010

Heavy Stuff

Your children are perfect. My children are perfect. They’re all these perfect little beings.

As parents we want our kids to be perfect. We want the best for them.

Ella is having some minor speech problems. Nothing serious at all. She’s a little delayed. I took her to be evaluated and they said to wait a few months. They think she is fine and will catch up on her own. They think it’s normal for someone with a very talkative older sister to not need to talk. She was napping today. We both fell asleep on my bed. I woke up after 15 minutes and just looked at her. I watched her and thought about how we want the best for our kids. We want them to have a better life than we do.

This exact instance is no big deal. Her small speech delays are not anything serious. But it made me think about how someday there will be something that is not perfect with our kids. What will it be like to deal with that?

When I was 12 I was diagnosed with a medical issue that requires me to take medication for the rest of my life. I was thinking of how my parents felt about that. I know it was somehow hard for them to deal with the fact that I was not perfect. I wonder what challenges I will face as a parent. Whether it will be medical issues, social issues, or my child get arrested or into other trouble. I wonder what these moments will be like.

I hope that I will be able to accept my children for who they are at all times. I know I would with the big things, sexual orientation for example. No matter what sexual orientation my child was I would fully accept them. What about the “little” things? Arrests, drug use? How will we face these challenges as a parent and still accept who they are? Accept their right to make mistakes and learn from them? I guess we just hope that we bring them up well enough that they know right from wrong. Whatever mistakes they make are a part of their lives and something they can learn and grow from. And I will be with them every step of the way.

As long as my children know that I am there for them in life in every way and that I influence their lives in a positive way I will know that I did a good job. The teenage years might be tough. Looking at that sweet face today it’s hard to imagine. I guess we just do the best we can. It’s all we can do, right?

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