Christmas Time

I cannot believe I am already thinking about the holidays. But, I went to Target and they had a Christmas section! And I went to the mall and Hallmark had all the ornaments out. What is going on? Why does it seem like it gets earlier and earlier every year? Do we need 2 1/2 months to get ready for xmas?
I am struggling this year with how to handle the holidays. Samantha is getting older, old enough to really know the traditions. I feel this is the year we have to really be thinking about what our traditions are as a family. I have two issues going on with Christmas.
Number 1 is Santa. I want my child to appreciate christmas time for the beautiful time that it is. The christmas lights, singing, visiting Santa. I don't want to hear about "wants, wants, wants" all the time. I want her to know it's a giving season. We're struggling in two ways with this one. First, I had the idea that from her piggy bank she will buy something for someone who doesn't have and donate it. I suggested Toys for Tots. Tim (husband) thinks that is a foreign concept, putting a toy in a box for someone we don't know. How can I make it more personal? Does anyone have advice for this?
My other issues is Santa. Do you put a number on the amount of gifts you bring? I don't want to give too many. However, we spend time with family and they go crazy. So what does that say when your kid gets 4 presents and their cousins get 20?

Samantha's birthday is also the week before christmas, so it can get out of control. Already at Target this week Samantha is asking for a million things. It's hard to teach gratitude, I guess I will try to show gratitude in my life.