Friday, July 30, 2010

Samantha isms

"Ella, you just have to be more dependable" (this was said while jumping on the bed)

Then I heard Ella step on Samantha's foot. Samantha said, "it didn't hurt, but now you need a time out. Should it be for 1 minute or two? Because you're almost 2." This was all while I was in the next room. I hear Ella say, "okay" and sit down.

A Medley of Sorts

It's been a busy week. It's been pretty good. I feel like I've been productive at work, so that's always a good thing. The restaurant is really busy. Which is awesome. It's packed every week night. I love it. However, when we're that busy I can't help think, is this going to last? How long will it stay like this? Will we be able to pay our bills in the winter? I have to work on being more positive. I should be reveling in how great our restaurant is going, not worrying when we will fail. A work in progress.

In other news, Meryl Streep came to the restaurant last night and Sandra Boynton (the childrens author). So that was exciting.

For famous people, I think that makes those two plus Frank Langella, Kevin Bacon (who was really cool to meet) Jane Curtin, I think I'm missing one or two. I've never been someone to get really excited to meet famous people. I never ask for autographs, pictures, I am just polite and friendly. But still, it's cool to have them come to your restaurant.

I still don't know what to do about swimming. We haven't been back. Swimming meets for one more week. However, next week is also this art camp. Samantha has gone before and loved it. I'm just torn between wanting her to have fun, but I'm not sure about getting her there 5 days a week at 9 am. There will be plenty of time for that in the fall. I cannot decide what to do. It meets for 2 weeks starting Monday.

My in laws are coming this weekend when Tim and I will be working a lot so we won't really get to see them.

The kids are playing really nicely and being really quiet. That probably means I should go check on them.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Help, Swim Lesson Dilemma

Hello, we're having a bit of a parenting dilemma here at our household. My 4 1/2 year old is taking swimming lessons. She has taken lessons before at many different places, private lessons, ymca lessons, at peoples houses. She is very close to swimming. So I signed her up for Level 1 lessons at the town beach. There are about 5 kids in the class. It started yesterday. She talks about it often, says she wants to do it, but when we're there freaks out.

She won't do what the teacher says. Also, she is the only kid who is freaking out. She is perfectly capable of doing what they are asking her to do. After yesterdays freak out, we went early today and she was practicing. As soon as the teacher and other kids got there, she freaked. Screaming ensued and basically nobody was having any fun at all. I am at a loss. This kid loves to swim, wants to swim. What do I do?

One thing I'm thinking is that the teacher is a guy, all of her other teachers in classes, school, art stuff have been youngish females who are fun and bubbly. He's a bit tough, nice, but a bit tough. Also, the other kids have no problem putting there head under water and she doesn't like that. Still, no one is pushing her to do anything she doesn't want to do. She is freaking just about standing near the class.

So, my question is, do I make her go? Do I keep going, but don't push her and deal with her freak outs (which frankly seems disruptive to the class). I really don't want her to be seen as a "baby". But I only want her to do things she feels comfortable with. I'm sort of struggling here. I'm not sure how to handle it. I want her to be able to push through something when she feels uncomfortable to see that it will be okay. I'm right there with her. I don't know, is anyone out there who has any thoughts on this?

Thanks in advance.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

something I love...

Hearing my 4 year old belt out the words to Lean on Me. So cute. I should video tape it next time.

Oh, and I saw Meryl Streep today while picking up my CSA share. We belong to the same CSA. How cool is that?

finishing a great book.

Hearing my friend had a baby and being so happy for her but not wanting one of my own (yet). This is a great feeling because my husband certainly does not want more children anytime soon.

watching the girls swim and have a great time with the babysitter.

hearing my daughter want to help me with the laundry.

having dance parties.

Friday, July 23, 2010


I loved this song as a teenager, and I still do. Whenever I'm having a tough moment, this song seems to comfort me. Words to live by, I think.
Change by Blind Melon

I don't feel the suns comin' out today

its staying in, its gonna find another way.

As I sit here in this misery, I don't

think I'll ever see the sun from here.

And oh as I fade away,

they'll all look at me and say, and they'll say,

Hey look at him! I'll never live that way.

But that's okay

they're just afraid to change.

When you feel your life ain't worth living

you've got to stand up and

take a look around you then a look way up to the sky.

And when your deepest thoughts are broken,

keep on dreaming boy, cause when you stop dreamin' it's time to die.

And as we all play parts of tomorrow,

some ways will work and other ways we'll play.

But I know we all can't stay here forever,

so I want to write my words on the face of today.

and then they'll paint it

And oh as I fade away,

they'll all look at me and they'll say,

Hey look at him and where he is these days.

When life is hard, you have to change.

Thursday, July 22, 2010


Sometimes I feel like the worst mom. Sometimes I feel like I juggle too much and yell too much. I'm on my own with the kids almost all the time. My husband is home one day a week. Usually that day he sleeps in, or we're too busy doing something we had planned.

Yesterday was a tough day. I got the kids all ready to go to the beach. We got there and it started thundering. Everyone had to get out of the water. Then there was a crazy storm. I drove to my husbands job and waited it out. It stopped. So I went to the grocery store. Another crazy downpour. I went home, trees down on my street. No power at home. I kept trying to call the electric company and the town hall to report the tree down. My cell kept cutting out. The kids were going crazy. Literally they both wanted to be on top of me at all times. I was trying not to lose it. I started to feel all, poor me. I have to do everything myself. I just want for once someone to help me.

I know I'm whining and I'm feeling better today. Yesterday everything felt so hard. Today it feels doable.

Today we were dancing and listening to some rock n roll. Everything felt perfect. I caught a glimpse of us in a mirror, dancing and singing. I thought, I am a great mom. These are the moments they will remember. I have to believe that. I'm doing the best I can. As long as I have more great moments than crazy moments, it will all be okay.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Almost Party Time

I am starting to think about Ella's birthday party. She turns 2 next month! I can't believe it. I'm excited about having a summer birthday kid. Great for parties. I was thinking of having a owl theme. I'm having dreams of being all martha stewarty and making my own invites and making these cake pops that I found on bakerella. My husband kindly informed me that I was crazy and there's no way I can pull that off. Lovely, I'm so glad he has so much faith in me.

So, of course, now I only want to do it more. I can do this, I'm sure of it.

How cool are these?

There's so many to choose from. I think I will try one in the next week or so as a trial run. I also found a adorable owl dress for Ella for her bday.

The great thing about a second child is that I in no way feel that I need to get her a gift. There will be other people for that. So I can just focus on having a really fun summer party.

More to come soon, I might have to head to the craft store later...

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


We've had some fun times lately. We went to Lake George on vacation. I came back and worked for 2 days and then I went off to visit a friend in Pa. for a night. I hadn't seen her in years. She lives in Jamaica and was here visiting her family for a month. She is having a baby in September. She has a big huge family (she is one of 10) and there were lots of kids there. It was lots of fun, I just wish I could've stayed longer.

At the last minute my mother offered to keep Ella with her so I could just go with Samantha. I was torn on what to do. I wanted my friend to meet Ella, but Ella is a terrible sleeper and it's hard for her to share a room with me and Samantha when we're staying with someone else. So I asked Samantha if she wanted to go with me alone or not. She got very excited and said, yes, yes, yes! So off we went. I had mixed feelings on it. It was easier without Ella there, but she would have had fun. There were 2 other kids her age. We went swimming in a lake and that would have been almost impossible to do with both kids alone. So we had fun. On our way back I told Samantha she should tell her sister about it. She said she wished Ella was there too. I reminded her that she wanted to go alone. She replied, I know, but if I knew it was going to be that much fun I would have wanted Ella to be able to do it too. That was a sweet sister moment. It reminded me that there will be many moments like this throughout their lives. It was nice to have time alone with Samantha. We have lots more going on this summer where they will both be there.

Today we are off to the beach, to the farm to pick up our CSA stuff and to my parents for dinner.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Home is Where the Heart Is... And I Thought It was Just a Old Wives Tale

Vacation is going well. It's nice to see the kids having fun, they love swimming in the lake. There's just these two little things.

Thing Number 1: Vacation with 2 kids is just so damn exhausting. It's fun. But naps are hard to come by, cranky kids. Getting up early after staying up late.

Thing Number 2: I miss my husband. Now this doesn't happen often. Tim and I are so busy running a restaurant and living hectic crazy lives. We don't spend a lot of quality time together, but we also don't often genuinely miss each other. It might actually be kind of good for the marriage. Oh yeah, you, who I get annoyed with a lot and who sleeps so much, I actually do miss you when you're not around to annoy me. Imagine that!

Yesterday Samantha said she doesn't remember what daddy looks like. Nice. She saw him very briefly on Saturday and briefly on Friday. So there's that.

Last night, when I thought Tim would be finishing up I texted my husband. I don't think I've ever texted him before. Maybe one line, but we never actually had a conversation via text. It was kind of fun. We went back and forth a little. It almost felt like we were flirting.

So I'm sort of ready to get home. We were supposed to leave Friday morning, and I have to work Friday night and I'm sure the house will be a disaster. So I'm thinking of leaving Thursday night. Enjoying the next 2 days and then getting back. It's been great, but I think we're getting ready to be home.

The day I left was our 7 year anniversary, so there's that too. We didn't actually get to celebrate and probably won't for another week. So there's that to look forward to. Maybe we should go home Thursday and do something nice Friday morning before the craziness of the weekend starts.

Monday, July 12, 2010


Well, I'm leaving for a vacation in Lake George. I had a very busy weekend at work, and was a little stressed about this not being a real "vacation" when you're going without your spouse, it kind of just blends into the other days.

But then I received a gift. My sister called and offered to take both kids up to the vacation house Saturday afternoon for me. I was leaving Monday morning. My eyes lit up, but cautiously. Are you sure you can handle that. She assured me she could, both her and her husband would be there.

And I said Hallelujah.

I have not spend a full day without my children since my second was born. Think of all the things I could get done. I could get my paperwork done. Clean the house. Take a nap.

They pulled out of the driveway and I did some cleaning up. Then I laid in bed, for my first nap since Ella was a infant. The phone rings, Tim needed me to go to the store for him and then go into work early. Blah! I felt sort of cheated. Oh well, I wasn't paying a babysitter and that more than made up for no nap.

After work I stayed and had a drink without adding in my head how much money I was spending on the babysitter with each 30 minutes I stayed. It was luxurious. We slept in, I slept until 9:30. Yesterday I took my nap, cleaned, did laundry, did officework, and missed my little ones. But in a good way. In a "it's nice and quiet and I can get stuff done, but I can clean their rooms and think of them and how much I miss them". Oh, and I finished a book!

Now it's Monday morning and I'm getting ready to go join them on vacation. In a few hours I will be with them. I have a feeling my vacation might be much easier since I had this much needed "break" before my "vacation". Things are looking good. I'm excited for the week.

Friday, July 9, 2010

deep breaths, a crazy day.

This makes me smile. Found on Girls Gone Child.

Wish I had some of what that girl has.

Okay so I don't know how to upload a youtube video. Go to youtube.

Enter Edward Sharpe & The magnetic Zeros "Home"
I recommend "live at kcrw" but they're all pretty good.
Add a smile to your day.

Monday, July 5, 2010

We had a lovely party yesterday. A good time was had by all. So much fun, in fact, that I didn't even take any pictures. I always take pictures. It was really nice to relax, have fun and not worry about anything. There were many children playing happily in our tiny ladybug sandbox. Half naked children playing happily in the kiddie pool. Grown ups laughing without a care in the world. Some very lame fireworks, but Samantha still thought they were the most amazing things in the world. It was a good day.

It was the first time we really got a chance to enjoy our amazing backyard and deck. And it was the perfect amount of people. 20 adults, about 10 kids. There was no stress about when to get food out, clean up, it was just easy. The house isn't prefect looking today, but it isn't too bad either.

Today we skipped camp for the day and are just enjoying a lazy morning after a party. Decompressing and just chillin on the deck with tons of leftover food.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

After wanting things to calm down and be more simple I just had a crazy night at work. Everything was wrong. Issues with staff, issues with friends, air conditioner broke, just a crazy night. I need some calm before I head off to sleep. I am so confused by this staff/friend issue. I guess it get complicated when people who work for you are considered friends. But in some senses that is what can make your business so great. When you're surrounded by people who really care. Well, tonight is doesn't really feel that way. The night ended with a employee and very close friend storming out and I honestly have no idea why.

I'm worried that the end of our friendship could be near. I care about him a lot and truly value his friendship, but when night like this happen, I just don't understand. We're so close, so if he was upset, why wouldn't he talk to me? It makes me feel that he doesn't value my friendship by storming out without saying anything. I don't know. I was driving home thinking, if he valued my friendship he wouldn't of done that. Or he would have cooled down and called and I would have found out what was wrong.

This also might be a fundamental issue of what is different between males and females. As stated this is a male/female relationship I'm discussing. I find that women tend to want to deal with things right away, figure it out, say what's on their mind and all that.

Men seem to sometimes be the opposite. Maybe that's the really issue here and I'm treating it as a friendship with a female. Men and women are just different. I'm confused by all this now and I think I will just sleep on it and see what happens tomorrow.

Yeah, we're having our party tomorrow!

My Mind is on the Blink

So... my cell phone broke. I was planning on going to get a new one today, however it's a 30 min drive away.
I worked until midnight last night and then worked the farmers market stand from 8:30 to 1:30 (which is fun but still). The babysitter is coming at 5:30, I have errands to run and we're having a party here tomorrow. I will be working from 5:30 to midnight today. So I am just so exhausted I think I will have to be without a cell phone until Monday. I don't even want to go to the store 5 miles away.

wow, I think even typing that out might have made me more tired.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Lightening It Up

Even I am tired of the negativity around here. So in a attempt to discuss something a little lighter:

We're a croc family. I love crocs, for the kids only.
For me, I like reefs. Note: I'm not too crazy, even though we have 4 pairs of crocs and only 2 kids, they're all in a different size, each child has 2 pairs, one from last year (that they still wear) and one from this year (that they'll wear next year too). Brilliant plan, right? I think crocs are so great on kids.

I however, need something new. I want a flip flop that looks a little nicer, but no heel or anything like that. We'll see...

Simple Pleasures

I love driving in the summer with the windows down when a favorite song just happens to come on the radio. It gives you this, anything is possible feeling.

This hasn't happened to me lately, but I'm hoping it will soon.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

On the Edge

I have so had enough lately. Everything is overwhelming to me. I think it's too much time alone with the kids. And it's summer, we're supposed to be out having FUN. Not getting overwhelmed, depressed, stressing about how to have fun.

The kids are overwhelming me easily lately. The whining, the arguing, the why does it sound like your sister is outside? Is she outside? Let her in, she's not a dog you know. (This happenned today).

I tend to argue with my husband when I feel like this. He thinks I'm being all, poor me. At least you have time to do what you want, he says. Do I really, I'm not so sure. Do I have a flexible schedule, yes. But I definitely don't get to do what I want. I don't remember the last time I got to try something on in a dressing room. Or go to the bathroom in a public place without yelling, do not open that door to a almost 2 year old.

And I'm not trying to complain but when your husband works 6 days a week, 12 hours a day and barely helps on his day off, because he's tired, it's hard, that's all.
And I too am trying to balance working from home and working at the restaurant 2 nights a week. He does not see where I am coming from at all, and I guess I don't really see where he's coming from either.

Oh well. sorry for such a downer post. Look at these cuties that I get to spend so much time with...

Oh and another thing, I thought kids were supposed to be worn out in the summer from running and swimming and all that? My four year old has been staying up until 10 every night. She will not sleep.

Tomorrow will be a great day, I'm sure of it.