tomorrow is my day off.   I am "allowed" to do whatever I want all day.  I do have to do some actual work, but honestly, getting work done in peace without the children around is a luxury I do not have lately.  My plan was to go to work in the morning, go for a walk, I have a brief meeting at 2 pm.  Then I was actually considering seeing 2 movies.  There are 2 I want to see and I haven't been to the movies in at least a year.  Then I'll have dinner with a friend.  This day to myself sounds great.  However, I actually feel a little guilty at the thought of going to 2 movies, going for a walk, and not stopping home to see the kids at all.  So we'll see how it goes.  I can't feel too guilty, I am taking them away alone again, this time to Cape Cod on Wed. morning.  It's not like they don't see me often, and yet I still feel like I shouldn't be gone all day.  I'm still excited about it!!
Today, was sort of stressful.  I don't know what's wrong with me lately, I seem to be having trouble handling kid related stress.  I think it's the business stuff on top of it.  I used to be fine.  I was driving a half hour away today and Sam was being really annoying and Ella was screaming in the car.  There was nothing I could do.  I turned up some music they like and chanted to myself, you wanted this, you wanted to have another baby, it was all your idea.  And then I tried to list the things I am grateful for, but that's for another post.
Identity in flux
1 day ago
No comments:
Post a Comment