Thursday, February 18, 2010

Well I recently got back into the blog world. I got rid of my old blog and started this new one, focused more on myself and not just my children. I'm hoping it will be therapeutic to me. I feel like I need something. I have so much going on in my life and I just feel off. Then I came across the blog, DesignHERmomma and she wrote a post (I will link to it later) that just seemed similar to how I feel. I feel like my life is so completely crazy right now. Tim works all the time. And as business owners, I have the crazy life of balancing work and the kids. Tim seems to think I have it easier. But I find this life of trying to do paperwork with the kids around, shuffling them all over the place and going to work at times too just leaves me feeling completely chaotic. I have anxiety about a lot of things and I find myself getting frustrated at times with the kids and life in general. I feel really guilty that all this stuff is getting me down. Sometimes I look at my girls and think how lucky I am, how wonderful they are and how can I be so unhappy at times over miniscule things? Why do I let the little things get me down? But then other times Samantha does not stop talking. She talks not stop and then the whining on top of it. It drives me crazy. I can't believe I am even writing that, I feel guilty just typing it. I'm tired of yelling and feeling crazy. I just need to find some peace. I'm just not sure where to start right now.

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